In the past few months of my "lonely", or in other words not in a relationship, I have become aware of a couple things. I'd say the biggest item on my list is how obsessed society is with relationships, dating, and not being "alone" in terms of singleness. It now makes sense to me even more why I have been so consumed by these "I don't want to be lonely forever" thoughts. When you're surrounded by that day in and day out it's only natural. But my thought has now become, when did it become a bad thing to be alone? In hip pop cultural terms, why is being alone considered an "L", aka a loss, and not a "W", aka a win.
You know, you always hear people say "you have to be single so you can find yourself!" and I'll be honest I have always thought that was so cliché, but it's actually so true. Not in the go out, party, and find out what you like kind of sense but in the go live your life, love God, let Him love you, and find true happiness in Him, kind of sense.
I think the disconnect here is that society equates love with relationships. If you have a relationship it'll lead to love and love leads to happiness, the end! But unfortunately, it's not. Not unless you add God and His love into that equation. When you do, I think you'll see that He provides love for you in all kinds of places beyond just one other person who you spend all your time with.
For me, I find that love in relationships with my family. To be honest, in the past few months I've grown closer with my brother than I ever was in the past because I'm not so caught up in a relationship to forget about texting or calling him. As for my parents, they're my go to call when I want to talk to someone or the first people I text when I have something exciting to share! And comparable to God, they're love is infinite and so big!
I find love in my friendships. I have been able to expand and develop my friendships in ways I never did before. Yes, even my friends who are in relationships! Third wheeling isn't a painful thing anymore but actually something I've grown to love simply because I love being surrounded by love, even if it's not directly towards me!
I find love in my sport. I have the blessing of getting to participate in a sport that I can develop deep bonds with a thousand pound animal, and let me tell you, that's something really special. That feeling of total trust over something you ultimately don't have control over if they so choose is beyond incredible.
I find love in the day to day world around me. If you just stop for a second and look around at every little intricate detail laid out on this earth you can't help but feel loved. I mean come on, we're the only planet that sustains life! As controversial as this statement may be, I don't think that's up to chance. I think that's someone really special wanting us to experience life and trusting us to take care of what He's given us.
I don't know why this was laid on my heart tonight, but for whoever is reading this that needed it, I promise if you take an honest step back and look at what you have been given you'll feel that love you think you can only find in a romantic relationship. Love is everywhere and in everything! Yes, even in this crazy, messed up world we live in, we are all still surrounded by it! It's up to you to receive it or not.
As Big Sean says in one of his recent hits Bounce Back, "Last night took a "L", but tonight I bounce back." Take this philosophy and apply it to your lonely. Loneliness is only a loss if you make it that way! Make your loneliness a win, embrace all the love you are already surrounded by and dive into deeper relationships with God, family, friends, and even animals! I promise your view on loneliness will forever be changed and your appreciation for love will only be amplified!
1 John 4:7-8Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.